Gutfield ... again

Man, if you have to give the Huffingtonpost credit for anything (and you really, really don't), you have to give it to them for giving Greg Gutfield a spot on their blog. Today he follows up his previous abortion post (Cool New Magazine) with his Roe v. Wade Joke Page. Commenters are apopletic as you would imagine.

Here's a sampling:

knock-knock
who's there?
you'll never know!

After a couple has sex, the woman turns to the man and says, "If i get pregnant, what should we call the baby?" "A fetus!" he bellows before erratically speeding off to his home in Hyannisport, Mass.

A woman and her fetus were walking into a clinic. "I'm scared," said the fetus.
The woman replies: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here alone!"

Why did the fetus cross the road?
Because they moved the dumpster.

The real "humor," however, is in the comments. Make sure you check 'em out. Why are people so emotional on this topic? We're just talking about a lump of cells, right? No one gets worked up over wart-freezing jokes. Am I missing something?

A metaphor ... once upon a time

I used to think the "War on Drugs" was a metaphor. Like the "War on Poverty." Apparently, Mexico hasn't gotten the message. According to this AP report, Texas law enforcement officers engaged in a little hot war with "men dressed as Mexican Army soldiers and apparent drug suspects." Nice of the AP to sugar-coat it for us. Don't worry these are just men dressed like Mexican Army soldiers. Of course, later in the article, the AP reports on a January 15th article in the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin that said "the Mexican military had crossed into the United States more than 200 times since 1996."

More than 200 times in 9 years. That's more than the Germans (in WWI and WWII), the Italians, the Koreans, and the Vietnamese combined. Don't expect to hear anything out of the President or your congressman, however. They're too busy preparing amnesty disguised as "worker programs."

Outrage of the Day???

The gang on Fox and Friends were trying to gin up the outrage machine this morning about the plan by the Mexican Human Rights Commission (HRC) to distribute maps of the United States to Mexicans. These maps will apparently show roads and water stations. The idea is that the boarder crossing is dangerous (approxiamately 500 people died last year attempting to cross) and the map can help save lives. Some in the United States are expressing outrage that this plan will encourage more illegal migration. Meanwhile, our Department of Homeland Security warns these maps can help create even more dangerous situations by telling predators where to find vulnerable border crossers. Are you kidding me?

I am absolutely opposed to our current approach to border "security," such as it is. I think I have made it clear in this forum that I think our porous borders are a scandal and threat to our national sovereignty and security. However, these maps aren't going to do anything to make the situation worse. How can they? We have, by some estimates, 500,000 people a year walking across the border.

A map is just a tool. But we can use tools too, right? Why doesn't DHS, instead of worrying about the poor, vulnerable criminal, use the maps themselves to identify places to, I don't know, find, arrest, and deport criminals?

Davos

Maybe this will pull the Vike out of his shell. It's Davos time!!!! And Jay Nordlinger is there. The Vike turned me on to Mr. Nordlinger this time last year with Mr. Nordlinger's series on last year's Davos spectacular. For a refresher, here's a link to the last of last year's columns (he's got links to that year's previous columns in it).

Davos is an annual meeting of the World Economic Forum where the fabuously wealthy and fabuously self-important get together and discuss "What's Wrong with Amerikkka, and what's up with President Chimpy Halihitler von ChokesonPretzel?" It's a riot. And very vital.

You may also recall, it was at Davos that Eason Jordan, the former chief news executive of CNN, bravely informed the world that the U.S. military in Iraq was targeting journalists. Fun for the whole family.

Anyway, Mr. Nordlinger will help you keep track of the global do-gooding glitterati this week. Check him out, won't you?

"You've got older haven't you"

Try to read this story without smiling. What an amazing thing.

Lileks on Steyn

I just read James Lileks' comment on the Mark Steyn piece I posted below and agree wholeheartedly:

there’s nothing sillier than elaborating on a Steyn column, unless it’s “expanding on remarks by Mark Helprin” or complaining about anything that does not involve having a loved one in a mine.


Please read his Screedblog on Steyn's column. It seems there's a lot of pessimism going around.

And I thought I was pessimistic

Good Lord, Mark Steyn (the best writer going today) delivers a stunning and depressing look at the effects multiculturalism, declining birth rates, and a "lack of civilizational confidence" may have on our society and culture in our long struggle against Islamic Fundamentalism.

In a column so long, it is too hard to provide a "money quote." No one quote or summary can do justice to such a stem-winder. No matter, you should read the whole thing.

Al Qaeda and Mexico

Taking a page out of the Al-Qaeda playbook, the presidente de Mexico, Vincente Fox, has urged "Mexican workers (in the U.S. illegally) to denounce rights violations in the United States." I guess with the crappy economy of Mexico and the greed, corruption, and disfunction of their government, they couldn't afford more radio time to urge them to denounce *real* violations. Sounds like Fox has been reading bin Laden's playbook where he instructs his terrorist minions to claim torture whenever possible. Peas in a pod.

No word in the article what Americans are supposed to do to denounce our rights violations. You know, rights like to a secure border and national sovereignty.

Poor, poor Fernando Robledo. He says a proposal to put up a defensive wall will lead to a backlash. "We learned to believe in the United States. We have a binational life. ... It isn't just a feeling of rejection. It's against what we see as part of our life, our culture, our territory."

"[A] binational life." "Our territory." Sorry, pal. It's our country. I'm glad you believe in our country. Just get in line and apply like everyone else.

It would be funny if it weren't so important.

Funny to see you here

Apparently a videotape of bin Laden has been dropped off at a "news agency in the Afghan city of Kandahar." The "news" organization has not released the tape and US authorities remain skeptical of its authenticity. Even the information put out by the "news" organization makes it seem unlikely OBL is still alive -- there's no reference to anything happening today like elections, Saddam on trial, the current price of tea in China. The only reference to new is that OBL has secured "new defence weapons," which the article opines could be anti-aircraft missles. Haven't we thought they had these for a while, oh, I don't know, at least since the Russian invasion of Afghanistan?(HT: Jihad Watch)

As I've pointed out here and here, OBL's been one rare bird lately. In fact, it's been right at a year since last we were graced with his virtual presence.

As of this publishing, neither CNN, Fox News, the Washington Post, or the New York Times has anything on this new tape.

Not funny -- from the Religion of Peace (tm)

The Middle East Research Institute TV (MEMRITV) Monitor Project brings us tidings of great joy from Lebanon and Hizbullah. Please see the transcript of the students' views on Israel. The video can be seen on their main page here. (HT: Little Green Footballs)

In today's Washington Post, Charles Krauthammer brings us a pretty good summary of the nutjob in Iran. Inch by inch we seem heading for something big there. Unfortunately it's beginning to look like the question is where will the first mushroom cloud go up -- Tehran or Tel Aviv. Pretty much makes the "War on Christmas" look even dumber. On a related note, also check out Jay Nordlinger's Impromptus column from yesterday.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! If we live that long.

Stop Sitting on Santa's Lap

Very funny post from Greg Gutfield at the Huffingtonpost.com about the evils of Santa. Be sure to check out the comments and his bio.

Favorite quote from the Santa's Lap post:

The last nine years have provided very little evidence to encourage me that Santa is a good person, and one whose lap I should sit on. If anything , his indifference toward minorities, and the fact that he didn't get me the Dance Maker 2 Mat Electronic Dance Machine last year makes him worse than Hitler.

Favorite quote from the Bio:

some commenters to my recent post noted that Tookie Williams was not executed for writing children's books, but for killing four people. Christ, I must have missed that small fact when i was reading about Williams on the Huffington Post. I thought all he did was write children's books! thanks for the heads up!

Pretty funny.

John Lennon, with the kung-fu grip

This has to be a joke, right? Who's been clamoring for a John Lennon action figure? Who's going to buy it? This world just keeps getting weirder.

First, you drink. Then, your heart explodes.

Here's some news you can use (HT: Drudge). Coke has announced plans for a coffee-infused Coke in 2006.

... and if they should bar wars

Looks like a giant asteroid is heading our way and scientists are urging governments to begin planning, developing and deploying technology now to divert its path. Where's Reagan and SDI when we need them?

Sure he is

Today, al-Reuters brings "news" allegedly from al-Zawahri that Osama bin Laden ain't bin dead. In fact, he is "still leading the jihad."

A few weeks ago I asked whether there was any significance in the fact that we haven't heard directly from bin Laden in almost a year (December 2004 was apparently the last time we received any communication directly from OBL). Before our wonderfully talented MSM runs off and "reports" that OBL is still alive based on this tape, I think this question is still pertinent. In fact, doesn't this tape make it even more so? Certainly if OBL was alive and well he would communicate with us directly. He's never been exactly shy before ... why now?

To my way of thinking (and I've been wrong on this before), OBL is, even now, enjoying his just rewards.

Hillary's Soulja moment

Looks like Hillary is positioning herself nicely for the 2008 general election with "Angry activists set to hound Hil" (sic). By standing up to the radicals on her left, she appears more moderate and sane to the general electorate, especially those who have doubts about Mrs. Clinton's paleoliberalism. (See also her announced support for anti-flag burning legislation)

The question is whether it will hurt her in the Democrat primary. My view is that it will marginally but at the end of the day the chickens will all come back home to roost. I agree with those who think the race will break down to Hillary, the "anti-Hillary from the Right," and the "anti-Hillary from the Left." But, at the end of the day, I think it's still Hillary.

First, she's a known commodity. There is nothing that will be brought out against her that isn't already known, vetted to high Heaven, and "move(d) on" from.

Second, she's a media darling. The story lines are too compelling to be ignored by a MSM that thrives on storytelling. A former First Lady; Bill going back to the WH as the first, First Man; the first, credible Female candidate for President -- it's too much. The media loves her and will not turn their backs on her. Look at the coverage now. Nothing in the Washington Post. Nothing in the New York Times.

Third, a little success in Iraq between now and the primaries and a start of a troop draw-down, Hillary will be trumpeted with leading the debate by "staying the course but demanding accountability."

Just wait and see.